Goodbye Stranger

I'ts been nice....hope you find your paradise.

Nice sentiment but I know you won't. When the end began in late July, you were still telling me you needed to let it go "for a while". You thought about moving in together, buying a house, marriage....all those "grown up" things .....but felt you couldn't committ 100%. We had a very playful encounter that night too....the restaurant....your house....it was fun and imaginative. A very confusing night for me to say the least. I believed you because you had asked me so many hard and serious questions up until the very end (and by that I mean as late as last Tuesday). But it turns out that was a lie. You swore.....your mother swore....there was no one else....you weren't even looking as I recall you saying. You had no one in mind. Less than 3 weeks later though there is someone....and now everything has changed. You went from considering a warm loving adult relationship to embracing a "relationship" that consists of getting totally drunk and letting some girl half your age blow you.

So will the real Steve A. please stand up? Because the man I knew and loved for the past 2 1/2 years isn't the one who I see now. Everyone thinks the real you is the one you are now....that what we had was the fantasy that you just couldn't maintain anymore. And I have to believe they are right. I remember now what you were like before we dated....how arrogant and annoying you were at work. How childishly you behaved. I remember now at being surprised when we started dating how different you were. But you were only different with me. Everyone saw....they all knew you weren't capable of loving someone in an adult way. They tried to warn me....but you know I never listen.

I am Tinkerbell to your Peter Pan. Peter didn't love Tinkerbell (even though she always loved him...even when he was chasing after Wendy) Peter loved adventure.....and the thrill of never having any rules or responsibilities.....Peter loved himself. But Pan needed Tink.....because everyone knows the only way to fly was with faith, and trust, and Tink's pixiedust. You never loved me....but you needed me. You are like Pan.....selfish, immature, afraid of growing up. And you needed me to give to you that magic I possess ....you needed me to take care of you.
You may have found a new adventure....but she doesn't possess that pixiedust....and without it you will fall from the sky. You will crash and burn. She is just like you....another one of the "lost boys"....another childish, foolish lost soul without any hope of a future.....not wanting to grow up.
My young one is more mature and wise. When I finally told him the truth last night....told him everything.....( since you are even too immature to do it yourself)....his response?....."That's just silly!"