They say image is everything. You don't have to "be"...you just have to appear to"be". We all have "faces" we wear when we go out into the world....but the danger lies in the "faces" we wear when we are alone with ourselves. Sometimes, the truth about ourselves is too ugly...too painful to bear so we hide behind the appearance of control. We think we control our emotions...our thoughts....our actions. But the truth is that the river that runs through us has a current all it's own that was charted for us long before we even realized we knew how to swim. At some points it's calm...but at some points it rages beyond our ability to hang on. So it's sink or swim.
Survival of the fittest....put your "game face" on and jump in. Only did you ever notice how a duck swims? Calm on the surface....but paddling like hell under the water. But yet when we master something in life people say we "take to it like a duck takes to water". I never understood that allegory. But like I said...image is everything.
But at some point in your life you have to stop lying to yourself. It's not enough to "appear" to be successful...or happy....or peaceful. Because you know that's never enough...and the more we try to "appear" that way, the more desperate we become to maintain that appearance. Like that duck paddling like hell but never really getting anywhere. And let's face it...this society we live in is obssessed with appearences.
So if we feel like we don't measure up somehow, the very thought of being "unmasked" can be devestating. So we glue that face on good and tight and defend ourselves against anyone who tries to peek underneath. Pretty soon we even forget ourselves what lies beneath the mask. Well maybe not forget....but we do deny it exsists. Yet everyone has something they would like to hide away from view. It's a pity....because "nobodysperfect". All we do when we wall up our pain is to deny ourselves the chance to ever heal.
And really....if you think about it......it's usually the image that is more limiting than the truth. In maintaining the image we become slaves to it. All our energy is expended to sustain a lie. What a waste of time. Our own personal universe is under control of a merciless tyrant.......ourselves. Because it's usually us that are our own worst critic.
I know I have been pretty harsh with someone here lately. Some things I feel just had to be said. But if he's honest with himself, he'll have to admit he's been even harder on himself than I have been. Being honest with ourselves is never easy. And admitting it to ourselves is even harder. Blame is easy to pass around though....but the thing about blame is that even though you pass it off....it never really leaves your own hands. The stain is still there to remind you of what you've touched. So enough with the blame....it's time to roll up the sleeves....wash off the hands....and try to chip away at the mask that's been glued to my own face. I stand by my assesment of his limitations ......it really is scary how textbook it is.....but that fact is irrelevant. My own limitations are just as "textbook"....and since this is my blog, my mask has to fall first.
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