One Moment in Time

Did you ever wish you could have a moment back? A chance to rewind the tape and record over an obvious mistake? Especially if you didn't realize at the time it was a mistake? I have obviously hurt and disapointed someone I love very much and I desparetly need to find a way to make it better. The funny thing is that no matter how much you wish you could go back it's usually better to jump ahead. Revisiting the past only makes the pain resurface. All I know is my life has been so chaotic lately and I know that my mouth has a tendency to speak without asking my brain's permission first. But the most frustrating thing is that I am not even sure what i did wrong....and he's in no hurry to share that information with me. So, while he's planning a very nice weekend, it looks like cream of chicken soup for me. I hope he misses me. I'll miss him.

What I Really Meant To Say

My main problem is time........not enough of it. Being a single mom really stinks sometimes. It's hard to carve out time for yourself and when you do there is a long list of people who complain about what you do with it. So I guess you can say that I have a lot to write about, just no time to do it. My day begins at 6:30 a.m. (although it's set for 6......bless the person who invented the snooze alarm) and doesn't end untill 11:00 p.m. I deal with a very stubborn 16 year old male and then go to work and deal with about a dozen and half more stubborn males then go home and face the teenager again. Fun stuff let me tell you. Everyday is pretty much the same as the day before. That may sound boring to some.....but actually I find it somewhat comforting. I think routines get a bad rap sometimes. I think people confuse routine with getting into a rut. But I think it's two different things. A rut is something you dig so you don't have to look at the world.....a routine reminds you of the beauty that's there each and every day.....just waiting for you to pass by. Just keep your eyes open and your head up so you don't miss anything.

Just an everday ordinary life

I really don't have much new to say. Check back in with me later.

Just What You Want To Be You Will Be In The End

So everyone makes New Year's resolutions, right? We all want to be smarter or thinner or richer or more lucky in love....but how many resolutions have been broken already? We're not quite halfway through the first month of 2006 and I bet more have been broken than kept. Is it that we lack the will power to change or is it that we resolve to change the wrong things? Do we subconsiously set ourselves up for failure? Really, think about it......we might resolve to lose 10 or 20 pounds....and then what? You reach that goal and then where do you go with that? You might resolve to find that "special" someone....join all the right dating services....try all the hot internet chat rooms....but then wonder why , once you find them, that relationship fizzles too. Could it be that what you needed to change was your attitude? Remembering to smile when you talk to someone, looking at them when they speak to you, asking questions instead of making assumptions.......no one ever resolves to do those things, but yet maybe that's what we need to do. Maybe if we were more specific....and honest....with ourselves about who we want to be and what we want to acomplish, we would be more successful. Maybe, just maybe, we would surprise ourselves with what already lies within.