Sins of the Fathers

I can understand his reluctance to face the truth. The wounds of our youth can leave deep and lasting scars. Some feel it is better to never revisit them. So they go through life denying they ever exsisted....because to admit to the scars is to admit to the shame of being made to feel unworthy of the love of the one who is most like ourselves. Life then becomes a dangerous game of hide and seek. We hide who we truly are to seek the love and approval of those closest to us. But the Catch 22 part is that the ones who are closest to us are the ones who should love us for who we really are....and not who they want us to be. And once our "false" self gains that love....the "true" self has virtually no chance of surviving.

This in turn feeds the shame of knowing that we too are admiting that our true self is unworthy.

I would rather be hated for who I am than to be loved for who I am not.

Maybe my mother was wrong......maybe I am ...... maybe my revelation wasn't meant to help him.....maybe it was meant to help me. To help me see that you can't erase the pain by changing the past....or the people who inflicted the pain in the first place..... or even changing yourself to suit them........But to change the way you react to that pain.....to stop chasing after the same source of pain hoping to have a different outcome.

I would rather be loved for who I am than to be hated for who I am not.

I would rather be loved for who I am than to be loved for who I am not.