Don't Stop Believing

Sagittarius -
You are on a roll today, dear Sagittarius. Don't let other people's insecurities or shallow understanding about the issues get in the way of your progress. There is a distinct advantage to the way you approach things. Feel free to exert your will on those who need strong direction on how to proceed. If you are confident about the answer, don't be shy about saying so. If people don't like the way you are leading, they don't need to follow.

That's my horoscope for today......pretty funny. I don't believe in coincidence . I have been thinking about how best to approach the wisdom of continuing with this blog. I didn't want to give it up, but I didn't want to do more harm than good either.

I want to say for the record (and all you friends can close your eyes so as not to read the next few words) that I still love and miss Steve. I am saying that because that truth is important. I know he thinks that I am using this blog to be mean to him....even though he is the one being mean and heartless.....but the reality is that I am just trying to come to terms with some very confusing emotions. It's one of the interesting things about us humans that has always fascinated me....that ability we have to love someone despite the pain they cause us. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I am the only one who can do that. Either way I know what I have to do.

The blog stays....and it stays the way I want it to. For whatever reason, God has given me the ability to love without condition, to forgive like I have been forgiven (more on that in a later post), and continue to believe in a deeper meaning of life. I struggle with this gift....because I know how vulnerable it makes me. And I leave myself wide open for criticism because I say and do things that aren't always smart...or popular. And I am not even sure what I am doing half the time....all I know is that despite my imperfections...or maybe because of them....I know that I have to do what I know how to do. And that's to love like I want to be loved....forgive like I want to be forgiven....

I can't answer for anyone else......when I stand before God someday I will have to account for what I said and did. I believe that I was set on this journey for a reason....that this pain I am going through is kind of like birthing pains. Only God knows what's at the end of this road...all I know is that I will follow.