This Should Be Fun

So can you ever be too old to go on an adventure?

Threshold of a Dream

Sorry...back to Moody Blue's songs. I get slammed here for being selfish and thinking I am the center of the universe but I kind of thought that was what a blog was for...to post your thoughts...talk about your life...to share your hopes and dreams. You see, I spent a good deal of my life devoting all my energies to raising my children and trying to be a good daughter...usually at great personal cost. At an early age I learned that dreams seldom come true...at least that was what my mother told me. I know that as we age our dreams change too but we should never stop dreaming. And we should never put down another's dreams either. With all my heart I hope my children's dreams all come true. My daughter and son-in-law will soon welcome a new baby into their hearts and home...to add to the beautiful family they have already started....and my prayer is that all their hopes and dreams will be realized. Life is good for them. As for my sons...well the youngest is looking forward to starting high school ....the middle one will be legal real soon...and the oldest is searching for his place in the world. If they keep dreaming life will be good for them also. Because I have found that it is the dream that gives us hope...the dream is what drives us to become all we are meant to be. One of the greatest gifts God gave us was the ability to dream...the will to become what He has called us to be. I believe I was called to be a mother...especially to my youngest...and I tried to be the best mother I knew how to be. No one could have ever loved them more than I do. I also tried to be a good daughter and sister. I have never denied any request for help...I have always loved them...always been there when they needed me no matter what the cost. But for so many years I have been on my own with no one to depend on but God Himself. He's had to drag me kicking and screaming through some very tough times but I think He was trying to strenghen me...knowing that the tough times weren't over yet. All the while I just kind of exsisted.....just happy to get through another day. And then one day it all changed...or rather I changed. All of a sudden it wasn't enough to merely survive...I knew I wanted to live. My daughter calls it a mid-life crisis...and there are others who think they know why I changed...or rather for whom I changed. But they are all wrong. I simply learned how to dream again. I lost 30 pounds...because I want to live to see my grandchildren. My dream is to see them grow and prosper. I started running again...because I enjoy it. My dream is to compete someday. I started saving money...because I want to go to Italy. My dream is to walk the paths of St. Francis and St. Anthony. And I made a friend...because he believes in me. My dream is to be a friend to him too.

Curiosity Killed the Cat

It seems as if I piqued someone's interest when I wrote the post about what was best for me. Seeing as this is a safe place for all those anonymous posters out there to express their views, I will ask that question myself. What do you think is best for me? Seriously... I want to know. Tell me what you think I need to know. Where do I go from here? And if you are interested...and you ask real nice...maybe I'll tell you what's really going on in my life.

Blue and Yellow Make Green...What Is Green?

Money...lettuce...trees...grass...traffic lights. So green can't be all that bad...right? Green never used to be one of my favorite colors but I have found that it is the color of some of my favorite things. Green is the sign of life and of hope. It was chosen for grass, trees, and leaves. Without it all things would die. And it all starts with both blue and yellow. So was it a bad idea to mix blue and yellow? I am not a chemist but I do know a beautiful color when I see one.Blue and yellow can stand on their own...but when they come together every shade of green is possible.

What's Best For Me

Let's see....oatmeal, brussell sprouts, spinich...that's what's best for the heart that beats in my body. But chocolate, cream of chicken soup on toast, love....that's what is best for the heart that sustains my soul. So when you ask me what is best for me , which heart do you mean? And can you really live with only one and not the other?

Everyone to their corners

I really am tired of all this conflict. There isn't a single person who's posted so far that hasn't benefited from my love and compassion and forgivness. If you all think you are protecting me somehow or defending me somehow remember this....I am a big girl and I realize that the deeper you love the deeper you get hurt. But that won't ever stop me from trying. And if you are just posting to be mean and you don't really care how I feel then just go away. But there's also not a single person who's posted that hasn't hurt me somehow either so I think I should be the one to decide how to handle my heart. I have made a lot of mistakes in the name of love and I am sure I will continue to do so because I never have quite learned how to balance my head and heart. Maybe I never will...but that makes me who I am. All I know is that the love I give is always totally and completly from my heart...and I don't ask for anything in return. I am not going to lie and say it wouldn't be nice to be able to count on that kind of love in return...but that's not why I do the things I do. I know the power that drives my love and I know I must allow it free reign. Because I know that it's only through His passion that we have any hope.

Bring On the Rain

So can there now be any doubt about the insanity of my life? These comments on my posts are getting way out of line. I don't need an umbrella, I need full body armour. I try to go out...maybe take a nice little spin around the block...and I get blasted from all sides. To the only anonymous that matters to me all I have to say is thanks for laying your coat down over the puddles. For the rest of you...well bring on the rain.

Play Nice

The thing I miss most about my life is the feeling of peace. It's almost like this storm raging overhead me all the time. Every time I think the sun is about to shine and I put down my umbrella the sky opens up again. I know life isn't fair ( how can it be? ) but I really could use some sun....or a bigger umbrella.